Wednesday, February 10, 2016


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Assalaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuh اللهم صل على محمد وآل محمد

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So this past week I slipped. I was chatting with a close friend and mentioned how dull and dark she looked and asked her why? I am the kind of person who reflects later on what I spoke and I was literally so ashamed of saying what I did. Even though she is one of my closest friends.
We need to be careful with our tongue subhanAllah. Instead of basing our talks on "external factors" we need to concentrate on the internal. Shecould have looked dull or dark due to some tension or xyz reasons that I have no idea about and bluntly commenting on that even though I meant well WAS WRONG!
We need to shift our sentences from
"You look so fat you need to lose weight"
"Do something about your pimples"
"Omg you cannot have kids try doing this or that"
"You look lovely and so full of energy"
"You are such a good mother"
"You are such a good friend"
"You can do it"... the list is endless
Every person is WAY MORE AWARE of their imperfections than we think they are. And instead of highlighting them or mentioning them we need to ignore those things and look beyond.
Someone might be fat due to emotional eating or depression where food is the only comfort they find.
Someone might have pimples or are facing fertility issues due to some life long disease/hormonal imbalance and hardship we might have no idea about and they might have tried everything.
I did make an amendment and praised her next time about how good a mother she is and how her baby girl is lucky to have a mom like her.
Lets boost people up.
Lets praise them and the good they have instead of pointing out their flaws.
Lets make life a little easier for everyone.
This does not mean you should not counsel someone. But there needs to be a lot of hikmah and knack behind it. And it is always better to ignore such comments altogether.
As girls we "mostly" seem to talk alot. Sometimes we need to hold back and check what our tongues utter.
I want you to reflect upon recent conversations you had and if you made a slip just like me. If you did make amendments and go back and highlight and praise them for their good. And make sure you do not repeat it with her or someone else.
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