This month I want to talk about this syndrome called the 'Excuse Syndrome'. This is a syndrome that causes people to constantly make excuses for every negative thing that happens to them.
Some common ones are:
a. I did not get the promotion because of my boss. He does not like me.
b. I am not successful because I went to a lousy school with lousy teachers.
c. I am always late because the traffic jams in my location are terrible.
d. I did not meet the sales target because it is very difficult to sell credit cards in Kuala Lumpur. Everyone has one!!!
By making these excuses, the people concerned are excusing themselves from fault and blaming it on other people or situations. This is the classic example of someone who does not want to take responsibility for their own lives but always take the easy way out by blaming others. My view is that no matter how hard you blame others and no matter how convincing your argument is, excuses will not make the situation better, nor will it make you more successful. In fact the result will be the exact opposite.
All situations in life can be looked at from two different perspectives i.e. the 'I am not responsible' way or the pro-active way in which people take responsibility and take decisive action. For example if a superior finds that his subordinates are lacking in performance, he has two options. He can raise his hands in exasperation and say, "Why do I have such terrible staff. They have a terrible attitude and there is nothing I can do about it" or else take responsibility and say, "What actions can I take in order to improve their performance".
Some simple ways to get rid of this excuse syndrome are as follows:
a. Take Responsibility. Have this attitude that from now onwards, you take full responsibility for your life, good and bad. Whenever you feel like giving an excuse, just say, "I am responsible for everything that happens in my life".
b. Mix with the right company. Mix with positive, dynamic, risk taking people. When you mix with excuse makers, you become an excuse maker yourself and vice versa.
c. It's okay to make mistakes or make wrong decisions. Accept that in your life there will be many times when you will make the wrong choices and decisions. It's okay. It's better for us to learn and move on, rather than look for an excuse and not accept responsibility and then repeat those same mistakes in the future.
d. Life is not fair. There will be many times when negative things may happen to you and you were not responsible, like a motor bike scraping against your car. Learn to just accept situations like this and get on with life. Moaning and groaning will not change anything except to increase your stress.
A final point and that is, avoid the excuse syndrome even when you have a good excuse. When you learn to develop an attitude like this, you will see that your life will change for the better. Stress, unhappiness and feelings of guilt will be replaced with pride and happiness. You become a better person because you take 100% responsibility for what happens.
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